The Art of the OCD Handshake

The handshake. A staple of almost any business meeting. And for someone with contamination OCD, a very uncomfortable experience. This specific OCD is one that hasn’t ever been among my most “difficult” OCD worries, but it definitely has affected me at certain points of my life. And for those who suffer from it constantly, I can certainly understand their perspective. Hands touch everything and who knows if someone washed theirs after coming out of the bathroom? Or what if the soap missed the one spot on their hand that you just touched? Or what if they have been sick for days and now those germs are being passed to you? Like any other worry, OCD can think up just about any negative, anxiety-provoking possibility.

And as much as those with contamination OCD may want to avoid the handshake, it is an action that is expected in a workplace environment. Many business professionals even put an outsized weight on the handshake–as evidenced by a good, firm handshake being the first tip in every interview prep article ever. So, unfortunately my fellow OCD sufferers, we can’t avoid it. And frankly we shouldn’t, as the whole purpose of OCD exposure therapy is to confront your most challenging OCD worries. But obviously, if it was that easy, we would all just “flip a switch”. So instead, here is the step-by-step approach I would take to cope with the dreaded handshake.

1. At the beginning, when shaking hands is super tough and you feel like you need to immediately clean them, keep a mini bottle of hand sanitizer on you and then discreetly use that after you shake someone’s hand. Try to limit it to twice each meeting (one after the beginning handshake and one after the meeting end handshake)
2. The next step would be to wait to use that hand sanitizer til the end of the meeting (so you are only using it once)
3. After you get good at that, don’t bring the sanitizer with you and tell yourself you will wash your hands after you leave the meeting entirely.
4. The natural extension of this is to delay how long you can go without washing your hands post-meeting. Start with 5 minutes, then extend to 10, 15, 30, 60, 2 hours, etc.
5. Actively seek out handshakes (more than necessary–even if it is a little weird) and then don’t wash your hands afterwards. Now I am not saying never wash your hands, but rather just avoid washing them as a direct response to shaking someone’s hand.

This method relies on the same patient and iterative process that the rest of exposure therapy is based on and I believe it can help those with contamination OCD be more comfortable engaging in one of the most common business activities. Good luck!